Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. Forgiveness can happen in a moment, but reconciliation is a process—a process that begins with repentance.

Genuine repentance accepts full responsibility for your actions and welcomes accountability. When you repent, you'll stop your sinful behavior without downplaying or dismissing it. You drop your defensive attitude and don’t resent the doubts of others about your sincerity. And you’ll make restitution where necessary. 

There cannot be genuine reconciliation without genuine repentance. But letting time pass without genuine repentance makes reconciliation more difficult. Which is why Jesus insisted on dealing with it right away:

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 
–Matthew 5:23-24

​Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. Forgiveness can happen in a moment. Reconciliation is often a process. Forgiveness releases someone else from your “right” to retaliate. Reconciliation is restoring the relationship to the intimacy that was once present. 

There is no way to reconcile a relationship without genuine humility and repentance. Jesus clarifies this in the Sermon on the Mount as He addresses contemptuous anger.

Watch our study of Matthew 5:23-26 as we listen to Jesus instruct His disciples on what to do when sin affects our relationships.

​Sin starts in the heart before it ever becomes an outward act. Jesus highlights this truth not once but six times in the Sermon on the Mount. We are just as culpable, accountable, and guilty when sin starts within us as if we actually went forward with the outward act. 

So, what hope do we have? Can anyone be righteous or even perfect, as Jesus commands in Matthew 5:48? To answer that, we must consider these hard truths that Jesus taught. If we are to continue to be His disciples, we must understand the necessity of the Holy Spirit in transforming us deep within so that sin doesn’t even have a chance to begin.

Watch our study in Matthew 5:21-22 as we consider the devastating influence of contemptuous anger and how to prevent sin from starting in our hearts.

​“You have heard that it was said to those of old…but I say to you…”  

Jesus says this six times in Matthew 5 as He references specific commandments from the Ten Commandments. He isn’t contradicting these commandments, but speaking to those seeking to establish their righteousness by the commandments. 

Jesus spoke to people who had only heard of these commandments from the religious professionals—those who monopolized on their teaching of the scriptures instead of translating the scriptures so the common, but illiterate people, could understand the scriptures for themselves. He’s helping people see that these commandments go deeper than they may have heard.

By using the law they depended on to earn their righteousness before God, Jesus is helping His listeners understand that they are sinners in need of a Savior. Not just any savior—a Savior wanting to forgive their sins AND give them His righteousness. 

This is what Jesus calls us to as well—that in believing Him and receiving Him and His righteousness, we can become sons and daughters of God, adopted with full rights and privileges forevermore!